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All Deviations
All Deviations


Tell me that you miss me
Let me help to make you see
Swimming in an ocean, blue
Till a wave comes and carries you
Off without  me.

Show me that you care
Let me see it beyond compare
Walking down a path so green.
It's like you're behind a screen,
And then not there at all.

Tell me that you see me
Let me know you can hear me by your side
Round and round a carousel.
Yet you are standing still-
Not enjoying this ride.

Show me you can't resist me
Let me feel your arms - like a key
Opening my heart and soul.
Disappearing in a sea of white.
Please won't you just stay the night?

Tell me that you love me
Let me come be your guide
Through this ruthless world
We stay to trudge
Until you let me fall.

Fall into a cave so deep
Screaming and yet not making a peep . . .
©2008 ~anggee
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Submitted: January 29
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Comments: 5
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Author's Comments

Okay, this is an old one from 2006 that I just found and decided to upload.
If you live in Australia, I wrote this around the time of the release of Guy Sebastian's song, Elevator Love. Yes, this poem/song thing is that old!

I decided to try my hand at writing a song sort of poem. It is safe to say that I have never, or will ever, try it again.
I really don't like this one. It doesn't really make any sense.
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~meeden:iconmeeden: Jan 30, 2008, 2:37:01 PM
flows well as a song... remember you don't have to ryhme each line for it to seem smooth - well done! :butterfly: p.s. thanks for the nice comment
~mermaid-kitty:iconmermaid-kitty: Jan 30, 2008, 4:35:25 PM
I like your idea of starting most para with "Tell me that...", but to make it flow better possibly all the paragraphs should start with that, except the last one. You have some rhyming there, but I can't see a pattern thats the same for each para- doing that makes the poem flow better.
But I like the content, whatever you may think! :D
~anggee:iconanggee: Jan 31, 2008, 1:53:36 AM
Your welcome!!
And thank-you so much! :hug:

--
I resent conformity :boogie:

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~analy:iconanaly: Mar 1, 2008, 12:13:48 AM
i think its falirly alright

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We'll say no more about it, becuase i wouldnt want it to become between us
~anggee:iconanggee: Mar 6, 2008, 3:05:42 AM
Thanks!!!!
Glad you like it :)

--
I resent conformity :boogie:

Clubs I have joined:
*ShatteredVerse
~magicalfangirlsclub